Farewell to My Grandpa

My Grandpa

I’ve been staring at this piece of paper for hours, wondering how I can fit everything that I wanted to say---here today---right now---in less than five minutes. How can I possibly write about the life of a man---who has affected the lives of so many people in so many ways---onto a single page? I can’t.

That’s like asking a son to speak of all the cherished moments he had with his father---in five minutes. That’s like asking a kid to write about how his best friend has changed him---all in one single page. It’s impossible.

You can give me days, weeks, months, years’ time to say this speech---and I’d still run out of time. Instead I’m going to speak to you of what has been on my mind for the past several days.   

I remembered my mom waking me up, telling me that grandpa had just passed away. I remembered running to his room, grabbing his shoulders and gently shaking him---asking him to wake up. But he never woke up.  

For a while I felt like I was being punished. I thought I did something wrong.  I had so many regrets---so many things I would have, should have done. I became so angry at God. I thought why would God let this happen?

Then I realized that I’ve been wrong all along---

That day was never supposed to be sad. Instead of crying, I should have been praying. Instead of ignoring God, I should have been giving Him praise.

You see my grandfather never died, he was born again. He never left home---no---Now he’s finally home.  Because like Jesus, we are not of this world; we belong up there in Heaven with Him.

In the end, death can never separate us from God’s love. In the end, death is just God’s way of getting to us and us to Him.

I’m going to miss you grandpa. I’m going to miss holding your hands---those warm, soft hands that taught me how to draw whatever I could possibly imagine---those same hands that held mine as we we’d walk alongside the beach years back---those same hands that massaged my wounds and bruises whenever I tripped and fell.

I’m going to miss all the times that we had when I was little---when I used to sit on your shoulders and we’d pretend that we were airplanes---flying above our home. I’m going to miss all the times we had when you were grew old---when I would just hold you in my arms---and we’d just look at the sky.  

These days I’ve gotten used to eating dinner with one less person at the table, coming home from college to an empty room.

I know that I’ll see you again Grandpa. God will take care of you now, he always has been.

To this day, there are still many things I do not know--- there are still some questions I cannot answer. But I trust God for He knows better than I. I’ve learn to let go the need to know why and take what answers He supplies. Because knowing I don’t know, is simply part of getting through.

There are no such things as good-byes, only cya-laters. I love you so much Grandpa. Take care and I’ll see you soon. I promise.